Facing The Holidays - COVID 2021 Edition
As we enter December, it's hard to avoid the intensity of the holiday machine. This pandemic year may feel especially challenging, as many people are attempting to resume normalcy with the 2021 holiday season. Vaccinations and rapid test results have made it easier to avoid getting and spreading COVID, so it seems next to impossible to not get sucked into plans.
Of course, getting together with friends and family during the holidays can be an amazing, fun, and heartwarming experience. It can also be an extremely difficult and stressful time. Being around others can be extra challenging this year because we have had more social distancing over the past two years than we have ever had in our lives. It was fairly easy to get used to...and it might have lulled us into the false sense of avoidant calm that reduced contact with people can produce. However, this can also leave us feeling more sensitive and easily susceptible to interpersonal conflict. The callous of everyday human contact has rubbed off and we are feeling the closeness of people again. The COVID cocoon was perhaps a nice but softening experience, in terms of how it affected us socially. Many people need to rebuild their emotional defenses to re-engage in the social holiday scene like it was before.
December is a month that is usually incredibly busy, however, our circadian rhythm is directly impacted by the lessened sunlight that comes with this time of year. Physically, we will feel more groggy and may find ourselves feeling more depressed during the winter months. This can range from mild moodiness to clinically diagnosable Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Up to 6% of Americans struggle with SAD, but up to 14% of Americans struggle with the “winter blues”, a milder form of SAD. Also, if you already struggle with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), a recent study suggests that “ people with OCD are more likely than average to experience seasonal effects on their mood, and that for these seasonally sensitive people with OCD, their “compulsions” are worse in the colder months”. Some people (and their family members!) with already existing mental health issues may find themselves more at risk for mood issues during the holiday season.
Here are a few written exercises you may enjoy to get a better handle on how to manage your mental health during the holiday season:
Understanding Family Roles Where Drugs And Alcohol Are A Problem
Do You Try to Please Everyone During the Holiday Season?
Anticipating Difficult Holiday Interactions
Even though many people find this time of year to be festive and joyous, it is perfectly fine if you still find yourself craving solitude and limited plans. Or you might be craving these things but feeling obligated to attend gatherings anyway. Boundaries can be hard to uphold this time of year, some of us wind up involved in more plans than we’d like.
If you feel holiday overwhelm, here are some tips from our RI therapists to remember:
It’s ok to say no to plans. Come up with a few standardized replies for when people invite you places “Sorry I can’t come, I’m trying not to overschedule myself this month”, “I won’t be able to make it this time, have fun!” or “I’m going to have to skip this one, hope to see you soon though!”.
Use the “grey rock” method for dealing with difficult family members - while in a group, try to avoid the person, keep answers factual and unemotional, give brief answers, and keep composure and dress simple and no descript
Limit your exposure to substances, as this can often lead to more intense emotions which can be challenging to manage in a group setting
If you have no choice but to attend a gathering, bring a book or solitary activity like knitting that you could do around others without looking completely odd and still be participating somewhat in the group
Take breaks during the gathering - move around and talk to other people if you’re feeling antsy, go for a walk alone or with a family member you like, take a nap, step outside to call a friend to wish them happy holidays, etc
Try to keep in mind the beauty and joy that can come with this season. Giving and receiving gifts, donating to charities, spending time with loved ones, yummy treats, cozy blankets, and festive activities are all part of our memories and our future plans. Holiday time is a shared cultural experience with traditions that have many happy and positive moments, along with the struggles. If you can’t fight against the holiday machine, you can always go along for the (sleigh) ride :)