The COVID Grief Anniversary Reaction
In the recent weeks, there has been a noticeable increase in people seeking therapy. Symptoms of depression and anxiety are worsening. People are simply at their breaking point dealing with COVID.
Last year on March 13th, the governor closed schools. Friday the 13th - a day of superstition and bad luck. Unbelievably, it has almost been a full year since our lives were ground to a halt by this pandemic. While many people have begun to acclimate to the “new normal”, it is still a profound and extreme change in our entire way of life. This isn’t how we are meant to be, we are social beings and isolation is not healthy.
In the therapy world, we know that “anniversary reactions” are quite common when working with grief and loss. The low mood and bad vibes that many people are experiencing now is likely due to the upcoming year anniversary of the early days of the pandemic. Typically, as the anniversary of a traumatic event approaches, people find themselves flooded with emotions and memories. Our bodies hold the memories of trauma, physiologically. As a result, when the calendar rolls around to the date of the grief event, the mind/body is reactivated. The result can be symptoms of anxiety, anger, fear, and depression. People can have nightmares, intrusive images, and powerful memories. These anniversary reactions can last days or even weeks. Some experts feel that these reactions are a symptom of PTSD, as the emotional and behavioral struggles that occur during the anniversary time are similar to the flashback and re-experiencing symptoms of PTSD that are a result of a trigger event - the anniversary.
So if you’ve noticed you’ve been a little more frustrated with the pandemic, more withdrawn from friends, irritable with everyone, and have had it with the Zoom calls and working/schooling from home - you’re not alone! And these feelings are likely more intense lately because we are approaching the year anniversary of COVID. Even if you felt that you had gotten used to pandemic living, your body will remember all the initial shock, fear, and disruption of those early weeks in March last year, and will react just like it was yesterday.
Ok, so it’s an anniversary reaction - now what?! Here’s some types to keep hanging on:
Start off with some self-compassion. It is normal to get stirred up emotionally during the anniversary of a traumatic event. Tell yourself it’s natural to be feeling this way right now. Try this 5 minute meditation.
Daylight savings time is just a couple weeks away! Use that extra hour of sunlight coming our way to get a walk in or start prepping your yard for spring. The bonus Vitamin D will help your mood as well.
Plan some positive activities. Do a little extra for the upcoming holidays - maybe it’s time to cook a St Patrick’s Day meal from scratch in March, or plan a cleanup at a local park for Earth Day in April!
Avoid the news and social media for a bit. While things do seem to be improving now, there are always articles that will say otherwise. Sometimes it’s better to just reduce exposure to all the articles for a bit to allow the grief anniversary feelings to settle and go away.
As more and more people get vaccinated, you can expand your stable pod and hopefully become a bit more social. More places should open up and the weather will improve, which means more people will be able to gather outdoors.
Try to look for the positive aspects of COVID - for example, more people are aware of hygiene and are wearing masks, washing hands, and keeping distance from others. This is an improvement! More personal space for everyone. Many families are spending more time at home, having dinners together and connecting. Friendships have been maintained and nurtured via Zoom, phone calls, and socially distant hang outs. You might even realize you’ve become closer with your friends, as you've leaned on each other during this crisis. Working from home isn’t so bad and you can wear sweats and socks. That’s definitely a bonus :)
